Secrets

I really wish I took the time to write more on this blog. Just my thoughts and my prayers, the things the Lord lays on my heart. I have a hard enough time writing in a journal...I don't know how I ever thought I would keep up with a blog, even once a week.

The Lord has really been showing me the differences in his children. When you look around you can see perfectly clearly how different each person looks, and you find how different personalities are as well. But what strikes me so much is how different each persons understanding and relationship with the Lord is. We all have such different encounters and experiences with the Lord. Sometimes I hate how hard it is to convey those things to others--to really express my heart in my experiences. I guess those things are just for the Lord...to keep a secret between myself and him. I think he likes it that way, having secrets with us. You always feel special when you know a secret.

It's Lost It's Meaning

Tonight I was in Boarders. I moved around a lot while I was in there, but eventually took a seat in one of the "comfy" chairs. I was looking around as I prayed and the sign on the bookshelf caught my eye. It was a directional sign that pointed you in the right direction depending on the topic of book you wanted. To the left it said Memoirs. To the right it started with Psychology. Under that was Child Psychology. Below that it said "Marriage & Divorce" on the same line. Like it was saying that these two subjects should go together. It's so interesting to think that something as sacred and holy as marriage would even be considered a source of the same thing, let along the same category. Sad how marriage has diminished so much in its significant meaning and commitment.

The Death Challenge

God challenges me in many ways.

Death has been the most recent challenge. It really makes you think, doesn't it? I mean, here I have lost my 44 year old uncle to cancer. He has been fighting for 3 years and one day it just slips out of control and then he is gone.

Then, in the midst of all of the chaos that is happening, all my heart can do is worship my Lord and savior and thank him for his complete and utter Faithfulness! Sometimes God asks you to share things you don't want to with people who may not understand.

Because of God's faithfulness, we can't deny what He is asking us to do. So we do the absolute last thing we want and allow God to use the vessel he has created us to be in order to speak his truth. And it isn't always pretty. But, God's love is shown through it.

Now all that is left to do is keep praying for heart change. He is so faithful.

Knock, Knock

Knock and the door will be opened to you.

Don't just knock and walk away, knock and wait. Know and continue seeking. You don't know when the door will open or what will be on the other side. But you can't expect to find if you can't even be patient enough to wait.

Emotional Passion

A feeling can be almost any subjective reaction or state that is characterized by an emotional response


An emotion is a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one's circumstances, mood, or relationship with others


Passion suggests a powerful or overwhelming emotion

Is your passion in Christ, or in people??

God's Plans

God has plans that are so far beyond mine, or anyone elses thinking that I think I should stop trying to figure it out.

He not only says live each day and have no worries for tomorrow but He also says TRUST in him. So, as far as the future in concerned—I have no control. But when I leave the control fully in his hands; that means I am stepping into the unknown. Like with going to Spin. I can somehow come up with a really good reason why I am going to Spain. For example, I want to develop my leadership skills, this will push me, etc. Only, I would just be making all of that up. Even though those thoughts are true, the reality is that I really have no clue why God has called me to Spain. All I know is that he has.

So now I am taking that step of faith into the unknown, trusting that he is going to provide along the way. Because he will. And as I wait for him to provide all the money that is needed for this leadership school, I really just anticipate how he will do it. I no longer worry or even wonder how it is going to happen. I just know whatever he does is going to be incredible…and it will be done without having asked anyone or even told anyone really about the money that was needed for it. What an incredible testimony there will be when that money comes in whatever way God chooses to provide in!

God's Burning

It isn't my experiences that have change me this year.

It's freeing myself of ME. It's letting God burn in my heart. When God has clearance to freely move, his heart and passion will reflect out of my heart. Sure, experiences may shape me in small ways, but it is the Alpha Abba who does the changing.

"Run from anything that stimulates youtful lust. Follow anything that makes you want to do right. Pursue faith and love and peace, and enjoy the companionship of those who call upon the Lord with pure hearts." 2 Timothy 2:22

10%

If only emotion could be fully expressed through writing. Without the voice inflections and tones, you can’t fully understand what someone writes, unless you know the person, and still, then, you don’t always know the full meaning. It is said that the actual words are only 10% of what is being said. I guess that is what makes certain writers so good.

10.29.09

If only there were a way for me to describe the burning feeling in side me. I can’t even say it is burning. I don’t know what the correct word would be. But then, that has been a problem all my life. I was never good with words, and I could never find the right word to use in many situations. I guess that is still my problem today. Only now, I know what is going on inside of me—at least to an extent. I know that God has been cleaning house all year long. This feeling of the Holy Spirit inside of me is something I never want to leave. Even though I don’t feel it on a regular basis, when it comes, I am overjoyed! So here God is, moving all around inside of me, in his temple of my body. All I know is that whatever is happening inside of me is the Lord. If and when you see me, I think you will notice something different. There is a joy that is only found in him. Though I have always been a happy and joyful person, I have never been filled in this way. And I have never experienced God’s work and his hand in so many little things that each moment brings. I love this change of mind set. I love living my life as a ministry and not doing ministry at certain times of the day. Do I have it figured out. Na. Who ever will? But at least I am on a direct route of lovin Jesus.

Prophetic Words

I guess my conclusion and findings for prophecy and intercession will never be final—because I will be learning more in each as I continue my journey of life.

Mainly, I have come to understand that prophecy and being a Prophet are two different things. They are different gifts. Prophetic words for fellow believers are simply the building and encouraging of the church—Christ’s body. Prophecy (capital P) is a foretelling of the future gift that is very rare.

When it comes to prophetic words, one people almost always have a word for people or for a group. But it is not just for people who always have something to say. This is an action we can all put into practice. It is basically the same conclusion I found when seeking what intercession was and if it was something everyone does. God can give everyone times of intercession but for some that is a spiritual gift they walk in regularly. It is the same with prophecy. Some are meant to go sing and pray over places, prophesying over the nations. Some are suppose to speak words over the nations and individuals. All of this is to accomplish the same thing: to build into the church. In doing so, we must pray over each other.

For example, one night last month, my team had a time of worship and prayer. Before we ended, we spent time praying for each individual person. We would all lay hands on the person and pray as the Lord lead—all at the same time. When everyone was done, we would tell the person whatever the Lord had laid on our hearts. And I would get these (what seemed like random) things for my teammates. When I would speak them to that person, they almost always correlated with what others had to say, or with what that individual was going through.

Prophetic words. Words that encouraged and built up the person. Prophetic words always edify and bring life.

“…the one who prophesies speaks to people for their up building and encouragement and consolation.” 1 Corinthians 14:3